Dear Past Self,
If you feel like things are getting out of control, remember you can always be in control of your breath. Left hand on chest, right hand on stomach. Deep breath in, deep breath out. Slow your breath, or maybe tap into other breathing techniques like the 478 or the box breath. You’re in the present, you’re here, away from the chaos in your head.
I know it’s been hard with the loss of a loved one from suicide, no questions will ever be fully answered.
I know it’s been hard to keep the struggles of being a social butterfly behind your bright smile when you really just feel so different to others around you.
I know it’s been hard to keep giving energy to others who couldn’t reciprocate that energy and support back to you.
You’re not okay.
You were diagnosed with pectus excavatum at 13.
You were diagnosed with anxiety at 18.
You were diagnosed with depression at 25.
And that’s okay.
Please know that I am proud of you for seeking help through therapy and talking to loved ones even when you were at your lowest.
Please know I am proud of you for leaving chapters behind which weren’t your healthiest.
Please know I am proud of you for speaking and living your truth to your very best.
You’ll be okay.
I want to let you know that once you are willing to ask for help, it can lead to your path to recovery.
I want to let you know that people who love you just want to see you healthy and happy.
I want to let you know that you will gain so many life tools to find joy whilst doing the inner work.
Remember to be kind.
Remember you can love and be loved.
Remember it’s okay to be okay or not okay.
You’ve got this.
P.S. Thought I would share some wisdom from my current therapist that would be helpful to you: “The body is forgiving, but the body is honest. Be gentle with yourself, your mind and your body.”